Federal Retirement: Have the Talk
Federal Retirement: We have discussed at great lengths the reality of death and what must happen in order to execute the final business of our lives.  I shared these ideas and stories to remind us and to give us the impetus to have the talk. It is a difficult and painful talk to have, but it must happen in order to handle the business of death. We mentioned in the newsletter that death is not surprised whenever it prevails upon us. For us to be surprised is human, to be unprepared is also human. But to be unprepared carries an emotional as well as a financial cost.
You say how does one really get prepared for death. You don’t, because it is something none of us want. It means an end and human beings prefer beginnings as opposed to endings. We can prepare for the business end of death and that starts with having the talk, a talk that should take a high priority in every household. If you cannot initiate the talk, get someone else to help you and your family get started. It doesn’t have to be a professional, maybe a good friend, a member of your church or a support group.
That’s an idea. I don’t think I have ever heard of a pre-death support group, but it is certainly something that is needed. What is the talk? The talk involves one basic question and it can be addressed in a myriad of ways. For example, a conversation would go something like this:
Honey, have you thought about what will happen when we pass away? We need to make sure that we know what we have and where our important papers are. What good would a safe deposit box be if nobody knew we had it or where the key was or what bank housed it for that matter?
Now as the conversation progresses it is only natural that you begin thinking about how safe is it to divulge all of this information. The talk must happen with people you know and trust and it is not a wise idea to only tell one person.
A trusted attorney with a good record might be a safe alternative. Although you might seek the services of an attorney you must still due your due diligence. Bernie Madoff had a good quality about him, I bet you didn’t know that. He taught us to be more involved in our own business and not leave it entirely to someone else. I have never known anything bad where something good didn’t come out of it. You just have to look for it.
Whatever your choice is and the format you choose to inform your family members is yours and yours alone; but you absolutely need to have the talk. It is too hard and unnecessarily so when the hurt of your passing is escalated because your family members do not know what you have, where it is and who it is left to. Have the talk so that your life can be celebrated in a way you and your family deserve.
P. S. Always Remember to Share What You Know.
